i used to like my coffee sweet and cool, cream and sugar please… these days i like it black and raw. no more covering the taste with other flavors to trick myself into believing i’m doing something else.
maybe it started with the reflection in the mirror, one day waking up and realizing that i wasn’t only embarking on the other side of the years i had left, but that i had careened, blazed, feet first onto that path and i’d been there for years already. without ever appreciating my youth and vitality… lineless eyes and even toned skin… dreams that seemed to still be within reach as soon as i got my shit together… the luxury of time was spent like a $20 bill found in the pocket of a coat i had not worn in months… fast and foolishly and without regard to the day when i might need some loose change.
the “someday maybes” dissapated more quickly than i accumulated them… overnight it seems… and now, i’m faced only with my broken heart. my truth. and myself.
October 19th, 2011 at 2:22 am
Samantha! Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. Only another writer could know just what that means to me.
October 18th, 2011 at 7:48 pm
wow. this was powerful. Love the $20 bill metaphor… really pulls it all into context and makes it hit home all the more…
October 5th, 2011 at 5:42 am
My feelings exactly. Wish I could express them in writing so well.
-Lynn